Dominique Dennery Archives - Canadian Small Business Women

Jul 01 2019

Why Boredom Could Be Good For You!

If someone had told me when I was eight years old that one day I’d make myself bored on purpose, I’d have laughed at them. I could never understand why my mother always said that being bored is good for you.

When I came of age, though, I saw how easily I could fill my life with activities and never take time to see if I was happy with my direction or needed a change, whether I was even living my life for myself. The more activities, the fuller my schedule, the less bored I was—which often meant less space for reflection.

Busy-ness is seductive, particularly for those of us who are entrepreneurs at heart. Being on the go, always networking, keeping up with social media, always doing one more project to promote your services, developing one more idea for your clients, completing one more task…these seductions are all wonderful distractions from our lives.

I used to think my life was these activities. Certainly I’ve grown through all the things that keep me busy; I’ve loved travelling, working on exciting new projects, and engaging with creative endeavours. But the trouble is that whenever I’m very busy, my activities start driving my life rather than augmenting it. And once I lose control of the steering wheel, it’s easy for other people (customers, family members, partners) to start driving my agenda with their own demands and activities—I no longer have a way north.

The solution hasn’t been, for me, to quit everything. I love the things that fill my calendar too much to leave them behind entirely. But I have started actually courting boredom. I work to regularly keep my schedule open for a few evenings in a row—no meetings, no dinner dates, no art openings, no nothing. I don’t turn on the smart TV; I leave my laptop and phone closed. I don’t even pick up a book. And then I wait. I listen. I watch: What happens? What comes to mind when I allow my thoughts the space to wander?

The most amazing things pop up; I recently found myself having a conversation with me as I will be a decade from now. I asked my 2030 self whether she’s happy, and what I need to do to ensure her life is how she wants it. (Career coaches need to have these conversations with ourselves so we can help our clients do the same!)

Other thoughts visit me too—things like, “Hey, wasn’t I supposed to start writing a book? What was the chapter I left and never came back to?” And also, “I have these ideas I keep working over for going international, and it might be good for me to write them out.” I wonder about people I used to know, reflect on articles I have read, remember I must reach out to a friend who looked unwell last time I saw her.

When my daily life is rushed, I just never get around to thinking these thoughts. It’s only in moments of boredom, of inactivity, of silence, that these things drift into my consciousness again.

Whether we act right away on our quiet reflections or choose not to, we can start taking control over our schedules and our lives. We can say no to activities, choosing only the ones that bring us joy. Once we’re comfortable with the idea of being bored occasionally, we can be more at peace, and don’t have to keep busy in order to avoid our own company.

Do you also cultivate occasional boredom, and benefit from the insights and reflection it brings? Has that quietness brought up any big thoughts for your business lately? Or do you chafe just at the thought of being bored? I would love to hear about your own relationship with boredom—whether you make time for it, what it offers you, and how it affects your life.

A version of this blog was originally published on www.dominiquedennery.com

Dominique Dennery has had her own HR consulting business for over twenty years. She is also an award-winning facilitator, coach, and sculptor.

Connect with Dominique

http://dominiquedennery.com/

Jun 01 2019

Stressed and Overworked? Try the 3 Ps!

Entrepreneurs working all hours and burning themselves out is so understood to be the norm that it’s become a cliché. But if you mind the three Ps, you can avoid overwork and help your business thrive.

People

Starting a business is risky and expensive, so a lot of entrepreneurs do all of their work themselves, feeling like they can’t afford staff. But the problem with this thinking is that you end up in a terrible cycle of overwork, and you never have enough time to think or plan to build your business thoughtfully and purposefully.

I had seen this pattern develop with colleagues, so one of the first things I did when I began my own business was hire an assistant. Everyone around me said I was silly to be spending so much money. But after 22 years I can happily say I’ve always had assistants and people supporting my endeavours, and I credit that fact with my longevity and success.

Hiring people is a tricky balance and one that takes some fine tuning. Sometimes we hire people because they can do a job adequately and don’t command a very high salary, but this type of hire has always ended up costing me more—I have to hire more and more people to fill the gaps created by a lacklustre employee. Underperforming staff can also strain relationships with other staff members and with clients. The small amount of money saved on a mediocre talent gets spent many times over making up for their shortfalls, and I’ve learned to pay more for excellent people so that all of us can succeed. From assistants to lawyers, accountants, and bookkeepers, your people make your business.

Your community counts as “people” too. While all of us are supported somewhat by our home-base community (family, neighbours, church, etc.), it’s important to reach beyond the people you already know and start forming other communities that will nourish you and your business. Find people who are running their own successful businesses too, to get inspiration and support for the challenging life of an entrepreneur—and, bonus, they’ll probably know clients who need your expertise. The more people you know and support, the more people will know and support you. Don’t just approach the world as a mercenary and see everyone as a potential business target; rather, build genuine relationships with people you admire and your business will flourish naturally.

Process

As our businesses grow, we need different processes from those that worked when we were first starting out. Usually those first processes are the most laborious way of doing things, repetitive and tedious tasks that burn through our resources and time. We need to create value without destroying ourselves in the process. Finding ways of streamlining processes and scaling up is vital to delivering more products and services to more people. Of course, hiring the right people helps, but automation is key. Spend time and resources to organize your files and resources so you can always find what you’re looking for. Automate payments, invoicing, inventory, anything that can be automated! If you produce a lot of written material, like blogs or newsletters, and find yourself strapped for writing time, consider recording audio files while walking, driving, or just while you’re away from your computer, and use a transcription software or service to create the document. Your processes should be practically invisible so you can fly when delivering your products or services.

Purpose

The final P isn’t just about overwork but also should shape your whole approach to entrepreneurship: purpose.
You probably asked yourself at the beginning of entrepreneurship the most important question: What is it that I’m here to do? And it’s also vital to continue to ask yourself that question. Not only will the answer help you grow your business, it will also help you adapt and develop your business if work dries up.

When I first struck out on my own, I said yes to everything, but a) it was terrible for me and b) I wasn’t good at everything, so it wasn’t great for my clients either. I soon realized that the only way to work sustainably was to pick a particular area of endeavour and stick to it. So now, I help groups and individuals reach their potential with excellent, genuine conversations. That’s it: my purpose.

Once you know what you’re here to do and where you add the most value, then even when the market seems to be going a little dry in your area, you have a precise understanding of your skillset and purpose and can find unconventional ways to apply them. For example, I used to facilitate civil society consultations—finding out what Joe Blow Canadian thinks about a given topic. When that work dried up, I started facilitating inside organizations, helping departments have good conversations and come to decisions and get their best results. Then when that work started to dry up and everyone was getting cut back, I began working with individuals to facilitate their transitions and career progression and outplacements if they’d lost their job.

Through all this, knowing my purpose shone a light on the twists and turns the market took and kept my business thriving when it could easily have gone belly up. If you’re clear on your purpose, you can pinpoint training opportunities to help you shift to a different context while exercising the skills that make you great.

If you’re not clear about who you are and what you provide, you’ll try to provide everything to everyone, like I did at first, and nothing will burn you out faster. If I say yes to facilitation then I’ll say no to training, for example. I’m not particularly good at training; I’d rather facilitate conversations where people come to their own insights or a-ha. I present new models as required, new ways of thinking and perspective, but mainly I’m focusing on what folks can find out for themselves.

When a job comes in that requires training, I refer to a colleague. Clients trust me, and so they come to me with jobs that require process improvement or financials or things that have nothing to do my purpose. To meet their needs and keep our relationships intact, I refer out to my robust network full of excellent people, some of whom I’ve been referring to for twenty years. My contacts deliver great results, I get a referral fee, and the client has the best possible experience.

What about you?
Are you constantly overworked? If you never have down time or space to plan and strategize because you’re always working too much, it’s time to ask yourself if you’re in the right business, with the right people, processes, and purpose.

Dominique Dennery has had her own HR consulting business for over twenty years. She is also an award-winning facilitator, coach, and sculptor.

Connect with Dominique

http://dominiquedennery.com/

May 01 2019

DO YOU CELEBRATE YOUR SMALL WINS?

Over the years I’ve developed the habit of celebrating my “small” wins as an entrepreneur. I may do something quick and silly like a happy dance in the elevator after a successful meeting (don’t worry, I wait until I’m alone). Other times, it’s a yelp and a happy dance when after working on a complicated proposal night and day, I get it in with only two minutes to spare. Forget that I don’t know if they’ll accept it; I got it in on time.

And sometimes the big win may elude us for years…

I have no doubt that you work hard to make things happen in your business. Do you wait for the big finish to celebrate? And even then, it might get too busy to take that time to do so. It’s then postponed for another day, maybe.

I have noticed that several of my coaching clients and fellow business women fall into this pattern of bypassing small wins. Maybe it’s a challenge to acknowledge the small wins because we perceive them as not being ‘big’ enough: ‘small’ is equated to ‘unimportant’.

Perhaps we find it immodest to say ‘Hurray’ for any reason. For many, especially for women, we’ve been taught not to call attention to ourselves in public, so why would we do it in any other situation?

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”

– Vincent Van Gogh

Why save the party for the end? – Start with three ‘small’ wins a day.

To get into the habit of honouring my ‘small’ wins I’ve chosen to think of them as milestones – big, small, medium, or worthy of a business woman of the year award, all achievements are necessary to reach an objective that is near and dear to you. Besides, the big win can’t possibly happen without them. I’ve been working with this simple exercise: Write down 3 things a day that you’ve accomplished toward your vision for your business. And if 3 is too much at first, start with one then build up.

Let’s face it, acknowledgement of your progress may not necessarily come from an outside source. Celebrating your ‘smaller’ victories, and the detours along the way, reminds you that your contribution, your creativity, and your commitment are not only necessary, but valuable.

That’s certainly worth celebrating.

Remember, no win is too small. Let me know in the comment section how the above exercise went for you.

Dominique Dennery has had her own HR consulting business for over twenty years. She is also an award-winning facilitator, coach, and sculptor.

Connect with Dominique

http://dominiquedennery.com/

Apr 01 2019

5 traits of successful entrepreneurs

Two young women just out of university wanted to become entrepreneurs. Both were very intelligent and had become knowledgeable in their respective fields. In order to support themselves while starting their own businesses, they each took on assignments with my consultancy around the same time.

As I mentored these bright young women, I did my best to understand their strengths and weaknesses, and to adjust to their unique approaches to work. Over the course of several months, one thrived. The other struggled. I was often at a loss as to help the one who struggled, and I blamed myself for her failures.

But something began to nag at me as I observed their reactions to opportunities or adversity, their attitudes while completing assignments, and their overall outlooks on life. After a few months passed, I began to realize that the young woman who was struggling had an employee mentality, while my more successful mentee was adapting more readily to an entrepreneurial mindset.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the young woman who quickly adapted to entrepreneurialism went on to start a successful business. The other is now working for a company in a 9-to-5 job and still dreams of making it big on her own. With a bit more maturity and experience, she may one day achieve that goal. Or she might not.

Canada has one of the highest rates of entrepreneurship in the world, but still, only about 13% of us attempt to start a business. Of this small number, only about 9% go on to establish a business that lasts three-and-half years or more. And this makes Canada a leader among G7 countries! So, what makes for a successful entrepreneur?

I think these two women’s traits and attitudes are instructive when it comes to understanding entrepreneurial success. Based on my experience as a career coach and small business owner for over two decades, success derives from the following 5 traits or attitudes.

The ability to self-soothe and carry on

Starting or running a business is an emotional rollercoaster. You have to be able to remain calm and persevere when business is slow, and to keep your wits about you when you are lucky enough to be swamped by work. You have very few, if any, sick days or mental health days. And if you want to make a buck, you quickly realize there’s no one to pass it to when it comes time to take responsibility for failures. And you have to manage all these business stresses while still dealing with the everyday life stresses, big and small, that all of us face (bumpy relationships, sick family members, caring for elderly parents or children, etc.). In short, if you don’t have nerves of steel and the ability to make fun of crazy situations that would lead most other people to just curl up into a ball, then owning your business may not be for you. I am only half kidding!

The two young women I mentored couldn’t have been more different in how they dealt with stress. One faced multiple challenges during her time working with me—health challenges, money challenges, and various setbacks. But she just kept on moving forward. The other woman just folded when situations got challenging or complicated. She started projects but was often sick before she got to the finish line. This was the first indication that entrepreneurial life may not be for her.

Adaptability

If you can’t plan for the future while constantly observing and adjusting to new situations, you will struggle to make ends meet as a small business owner. You must be constantly adapting to your environment by asking questions of it: What is in it for the customer? What is in it for you partners or collaborators? What is in it for you? What is the win-win? When do you pursue an opportunity, and when do you walk away? Being in business means both planning and figuring things out as you go! You have put plans in place, but you must stay sharp and flexible as your plan unfurls.

Both young women were challenged at first by the fast moving, constantly changing world of entrepreneurship. In school, there were schedules, homework, exams; it’s a predictable world. If you excel at creating and adhering to a good study schedule for yourself, you will complete your assignments on time, study rather than cram for your exams, and get good grades.

Nothing had prepared them for the real world of proposals and client deliverables. Their project plans looked great on paper, but they learned quickly that they couldn’t get too attached to the plan. As entrepreneurs we know that change is the only constant and we must adapt when it invariably happens. Change in the world of small business comes in a variety of forms: you no longer can get access to contracts because of new regulations; your product is becoming obsolete because of new technology; your competitors have developed a faster and better delivery mechanism; you’re a-list clients are retiring and you need to replace them fast. It never ends!

While they were not responsible for strategizing about new ways to adapt to the big changes in the industry, my mentees had to develop the entrepreneurial skill of changing the tires on the car (or project), as it speeds down the highway!

Being positively contagious

Not every successful entrepreneur is naturally ebullient and communicative. Some of us have days where we’re hard pressed to show signs of life! And we all know how our moods and energy can be contagious. I simply don’t go on sale calls if I am feeling like yesterday’s coffee. No one will buy me! It’s better if I fight with spreadsheets or office files on those days.

As the face of my business, I know that I have to believe in my product completely and put my best foot forward, with a smile. That demeanour is contagious and will attract other people and opportunities to me. This doesn’t mean that I don’t face rejection from time to time. It just means that I don’t internalize rejection and choose to remain optimistic. I celebrate even the smallest win. Being grateful keeps me joyful which attracts more to be grateful about.

My two young women’s attitudes? Their reaction to rejection couldn’t have been more different. One saw rejection as an opportunity to learn from mistakes and would immediately begin seeking new opportunities. The other was dejected for days. She had trouble getting over one negative comment even when 10 others were positive. She wore a face that said, “I am a victim of circumstances.” Her first instinct was to blame clients or colleagues when something didn’t come through. The energy in a room went south in her presence. With coaching, she was able to change her behaviours at times and get better results, but her enthusiasm was short lived.

Thriving in Chaos

Individuals who like predictability, routine, and order are probably better off working a regular 9-to-5 job. Working for yourself or managing a business often means inhabiting a whirlwind of chaos: missed calls, missed emails, missed deliveries, miscommunications, misjudgement, missteps, and mishaps! So, the ability to keep a clear head and work with uncertainty and ambiguity, and make the best of it, is critical to surviving and thriving in business.

This attitude is closely tied to the other traits and attitudes already mentioned. Both mentees struggled with chaos and wanted me to help them find a way out, fast. I was there for them but couldn’t relieve their anxiety in the moment. I knew from experience that all of us need to keep going until the dust settles, problems are solved, and customers are happy again. In this case, there is no substitute for experience and trusting that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

NOT a perfectionist

Your perfectionism must die or it will surely kill your business. Often, when we are just starting out in business, we try to do things to perfection. After all, it is the high quality of our work that attracts clients to our business. The irony is that we have to accept that although we will strive to do our very best, our efforts must fall short of perfection if we are to grow our business. A business owner has to know when to stop and say: it’s good enough, it’s fine, it’s ready to go out to the client now. It’s not easy to let go, but we must.

The two young women were different in this aspect too. The one who went on to become a successful entrepreneur worked very hard, but she would share her product before it was completed to get other people’s input along the way. She dropped the need for perfection. The other woman strived to do most of the work on her own and agonized about her products. When she shared her work and was sent back to the drawing board by clients and collaborators, she was dejected. And each time this happened, her self-esteem was affected. She was eventually paired up with another employee and started to do better when she was closely supported and supervised. It was clear that she wasn’t ready for entrepreneurship.

What do you think?

I’m sure experienced entrepreneurs will want to add other characteristics to this list. I’m tempted to add The Ability to See What Isn’t There…Yet and The Need to be Pig Headed (sometimes).

Do share with other readers what characteristics are essential to surviving and thriving as an entrepreneur!

Dominique Dennery has had her own HR consulting business for over twenty years. She is also an award-winning facilitator, coach, and sculptor.

Connect with Dominique

http://dominiquedennery.com/