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Impostor Syndrome … There’s Nothing Fake About How It Makes You Feel

My biggest fear is that eventually, you will see me the way I see myself.

At work, do you ever have the feeling that you don’t belong there? I don’t mean in the context of fitting-in-with-the-cool-people-by-the water-cooler, but professionally speaking … do you suspect that you don’t deserve the position you’re in? Do you secretly fear that you don’t have the necessary skills? If so, you’re not alone. What you are experiencing has been labeled The Impostor Syndrome. The label sounds dramatic but it’s really about feeling undeserving of your achievements, that the success in your life is not real, while also feeling an overwhelming sense of incompetence … even when praised.

This isn’t some new ‘syndrome’ to coddle those who are unsure about themselves. Rather, it’s a widely recognized problem that affects 60% – 70% of us at some point. It is even experienced by individuals who have made significant successes in their life.

Many high achievers report feeling like intellectual frauds and unworthy of their career. I have encountered professionals who have expressed this unyielding sense of self- doubt and inadequacy when they walk into their workplace. This is equally true for those who have difficulty accepting recognition. This also applies to those who have come into unexpected fame or wealth … or both, and who now feel the only place to land is way down, after a fall from grace.

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’  – Maya Angelou

Recently, I spoke with a brilliant, award-winning writer from South Africa. Despite having a stellar resume filled with travel to attend prestigious writers’ festivals, she explained that much of the time she feels like an Impostor. She described how listening to other writers speak about their success makes her unable able to take pride in her own work, and somehow makes her feel like an Impostor.

This intrigued me because I’ve seen the effects that the Impostor Syndrome has had on some of my clients. So, I asked this four-time published novelist, “What about the first time that you learned your book was going to be published internationally – weren’t you happy?” Her response was surprising: “To be honest, the thought I had in my head was that I had fooled them. I even rushed to write another book just to prove I wasn’t a fraud. Then, to add to the intense emotions of that accomplishment, I was honored with a very significant award. After the fact, I found out that I was the first black person ever to receive it. None of this success changed how phony I felt. I even felt ashamed for rejoicing in any of it.”

After talking to this accomplished woman I wondered why so many ambitious, intelligent, hardworking people experience these feelings. Impostor Syndrome stretches across the spectrum of occupations too. It’s a sentiment that’s been acknowledged by doctors, teachers, lawyers, athletes, entrepreneurs … and also artists, actors, photographers, writers, and models. For people experiencing the Impostor Syndrome, the more they achieve the less genuine it feels and the worse they feel about themselves for enjoying it.

Here are a few symptoms of the Impostor Syndrome:

  1. You’re afraid that you will be found out or fired despite being applauded for good work.
  2. You are hesitant to seek further achievements, such as seeking promotions or other exciting opportunities in the workplace. This is true for artists who will not showcase their work, or submit their writing for fear it isn’t worthy.
  3. You experience anxiety and/or embarrassment if/when you speak about your achievements with others.
  4. You worry that your accomplishment isn’t real, or will be taken away.
  5. You fear that you got lucky and are not actually qualified for the position or award. Further, you fear that your success was given to you by chance, nepotism, or some other form of favoritism/bias.

To make sure we leave on a positive, note, here are some ways that you can cope when the Impostor Syndrome is having a negative impact on you:

Cope with the Impostor Syndrome by:

1) Recognizing the benefits of being a novice

  • When you’re not steeped in the conventional wisdom of a given profession or domain, you can ask questions that haven’t been asked before and approach problems in ways others haven’t thought of.
  • Many problems are solved by those from outside the field in question. So the next time you feel inadequate in a particular field, remember that as an outsider to the role in question, you might have the most critical perspective of all

2) Focusing more on what you’re learning than on how you’re performing

  • With a learning mindset (rather than a performance mindset), your mistakes are easier to see as an inevitable part of the learning process rather than as more evidence of your underlying failings

3) Understanding the power of perspective

  • Being found incompetent is the number one fear of executives worldwide
  • So if you’re feeling like an impostor, chances are that others in your situation feel the exact same way

 

Want to discuss the Impostor Syndrome (and getting past it) any further? I invite you to contact me by email, phone, or via direct message on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn.

More than career coaching, it’s career psychology®.

I/O Advisory Services – Building Resilient Careers.

5 Ways to Make Your Audience Love Your Brand

CHuntly

Without an audience, it’s kind of hard to run a business. A growing customer base will drive your business growth. There are a lot of other brands out there, so how do you get your customers to choose you over your competitors? And once you have their attention, how do you build a loyal, long-term relationship with them?

Here are five ways for you to create a strong and loyal relationship with your audience. Five ways to get them to fall in love with you.

  1. Be authentic: If you are constantly selling and trying to put a spin on your sales pitch, you will come across like a pushy and dishonest salesman who will say anything to get the sale. Your brand should have characteristics that are attractive to your audience – values and ethics that show what you stand for. When you communicate with your audience, find ways to make personal connections with them that go beyond selling. Once they are loyal to your brand, the sale is inevitable because what you are offering will be top of mind.
  2. Talk with them, not at them: Many brands get stuck in a rut where they are constantly pumping out content, but they don’t take the time to interact with their audience. It should be about generating meaningful dialogue on your marketing channels, whether more traditional or digital. In many cases, brands could put out less content if they up the engagement factor with their audience. It becomes a case of quality vs. quantity. And if you are a small business owner wearing multiple hats, it’s about finding efficiencies in your marketing strategy that will get you higher returns on your efforts.
  3. Tell them you appreciate them: That feel-good feeling is pretty contagious. If your existing customers are happy, they will tell their friends. Create opportunities to show your appreciation through loyalty programs and content that is directed towards customers. The brands that do well are as grateful for an audience of 500 as they are an audience of 500,000. You will find that once you start appreciating each individual customer they will start multiplying pretty fast.
  4. Create an experience: You should showcase the positive experiences your audience can have with your brand through your blog, social media, and other channels. Take it a step further and create those experiences through public stunts and events where they can’t help but get involved with your brand. Not only will this showcase what you have to offer, but it will generate an emotional connection with your audience because you are making a direct impact on their lives.
  5. Love yourself: Self-hype can be detrimental if you ignore things that should be improved. However, you can’t make someone else love you if you don’t love yourself. You should always start out looking internally, getting to know your brand, and pointing out everything that is great about your brand. This will jumpstart any successful marketing strategy.

Candace Huntly is the Founder and Principal at SongBird Marketing Communications, an award-winning agency working to take organizational and individual brands to the next level. With a passion for all things related to creativity and strategy, she specializes in business intelligence, marketing & branding, content strategy & development, media & influencer relations, and social media. Basically, if you need to put your brand, product, or cause in the public eye, she will find a way to do it, while making the approach unique to you.

Connect with Candace

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Doing What Matters – because……..

Sheralyn

It’s time for a little reality check.  This is a business blog but it’s really about the business of life.  Haven’t we all occasionally spent just a little too much time trolling the internet, facebook and LinkedIn for advice on how to live our lives, succeed in business and be happy, healthy and well- adjusted? We are locked in an inevitable search for meaning in life, for how to “add value” and how the understanding of these will provide meaning to our existence and therefore also, presumably, business success.  What we may not have done however is really figured out how to do what matters, when it matters and for whom it matters because we haven’t figured out our “because.”  The “because” is UP TO YOU and the “because” is the only thing that matters.  Whether you do what you do because you want to be successful, make money, be a great provider for your family or be recognized in your industry as a leader is, in the end, all that counts.

Doing what matters means embracing your destiny, career, business or even (if this is your choice) your decision to be a stay at home parent. Embrace this decision with full force, with no doubts, no questions, no reservations and no limitations. Let it settle in and become a part of every fibre of your being because if you don’t – it won’t. You will question your decisions, your abilities, your commitment and your competence and then your business will suffer. Quite possibly you will suffer.

It doesn’t matter what you are doing right now as long as you enjoy the doing and that you are confidant. This isn’t just a blanket suggestion to “be happy” as if life really was that simple.  No, it’s not a Law of Attraction kind of thing either.  It’s just common sense. It doesn’t need to be labeled anything other than what it is. I don’t know about you but I am tired of all the current buzzwords around being “authentic.” Buzzwords set us up for failure as we fall short of these often false and pretentious expectations.  We judge both ourselves and others by the standards of these new (and constantly changing) “realities.” The reality of our daily existence is simply that each of us has to do what we do for reasons that matter only to us. For the most part these coalesce nicely with an overall “raison d’être” that makes the world go round. In other words, by each of us doing what matters to us, enough people do enough good things to help others and to offset the people who do bad things (because unfortunately, there are people who by doing what matters to them, do bad things.)

So stop worrying about the labeling and naval gazing.  Stop reading every site you can find that will help you determine your “brand.” I don’t care what your brand is. Are you a brand? Are you a box of cereal? Seriously? We are human beings not brands and who you are as a person, as an individual, this is what matters – not who you are as a “brand.”  A simple search on Google will tell you that a “brand” is “a type of product manufactured by a particular company under a particular name” or, even better, that a brand is “an identifying mark burned on livestock or…former criminals or slaves…”* Is this what you aspire to be?

Let’s not lose sight of the fact that we are PEOPLE not an inanimate object manufactured for the express purpose of a corporation. While we may occasionally feel like a “slave” to the corporate machine, we are not.  We are reimbursed for our efforts and if you go back to my earlier point – hopefully you are doing something you love and that has meaning and purpose to you, thus negating the feeling of enslavement. This is ever more true if you have chosen the path of an entrepreneur. Be who you want to be and do what you want to do and your sincerity, drive and passion will naturally flow because it is founded in confidence and in being true to yourself. So do what matters. Do it because it’s what matters to you.

As Owner and Principal partner of “Writing Right For You” Sheralyn is a Communications Strategist – working together with entrepreneurs to maximize profit through effective use of the written word. Looking for web content that works, blog articles that engage or communications strategies that help you get noticed?  Contact Sheralyn today. Sheralyn is also the mother of two children now entering the “terrible and terrific teens” and spends her free time volunteering for several non-profit organizations.

Sheralyn Roman B.A., B.Ed.

Writing Right For You

Communications Strategies that help you GET TO THE POINT!

416-420-9415 Cell/Business

writingrightforyou@gmail.com

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