Playing Bigger.
My promise to myself in 2020 is to “play bigger”. In being true to myself, it seems like there is no other way to find my voice again but to start talking. And, when you put something out into the universe, the universe usually responds. In my case, Dwania responded – telling me that I had been accepted as a guest blogger for this blog!
So, here I go. I’m really excited (and totally scared) to have you along this journey with me. Within this mini-series, I plan to share my reflections on areas of my life where my voice shrunk, sometimes to a whisper. Like me, it’ll be real, raw, courageous and, hopefully, a little bit funny. Most importantly, I hope that it provides each of you with insights that may hit home for you and create opportunities for you to grow as well.
Those Five (irritating) Little Words.
I have nothing to say.
They stared back at me as I lifted my pen from the paper. Why was I even compelled to stop what I was doing and jot down this random thought?
Like a toddler playing on the drums, it felt as if until I gave them the attention they needed, these words had no intention of letting up. Now that they had escaped the vault of my inner secrets and into my thoughts and onto paper, I had no choice but to stop and take notice.
“How can I have nothing to say?!” I decided that writing down this passing thought was all the reverence that I needed to give it in that moment. But, each time I returned to my desk, there it was.
As I wrestled with it over the week, one of the first solutions I came up with was to call upon my coach to dig into this more deeply. Yep. I wanted to ‘talk it out’ with someone.
I love good conversation. In fact, after months of living through quarantine, it’s probably what I miss the most. You know, those chats that morph into meaningful dialogue that go on for hours? The conversations that leave you thinking long after you part ways? It was in these deep discussions that my soul would refill itself.
So, the only thing I could think of doing was to give my coach a call. We had a zoom call and I jumped right in flashing the orange Post-It note towards the camera. “What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked him. Off we went into an animated 90 minute session exploring and digging into what this meant for me.
I realized that although the message probably wasn’t a literal one, there was certainly an opportunity for personal growth staring back at me from that loud, obnoxious sticky note.
Over the following week, I purposefully placed that sticky note by my desk – pushing me to wrestle with it further.
“Had my ‘voice’ been extinguished right before my eyes”? I didn’t think so.
“What should I be saying?!” After 20+ years in a marketing role, knowing what to say about a product or service seemed to be auto-programmed into me. Was I just exhausted from the ‘sell’ of it all? Maybe.
“Was I out of my comfort zone to write or speak about topics that strived to dig into deeper issues”? Absolutely.
Hmmm.
It isn’t that I have nothing to say but, rather, what I had to say was taking me right out of my comfort zone (like, catapulting me into another orbit of discomfort).
Well, poop. My work here still isn’t done, is it?
I’m on a journey to explore how I got to this place – I invite you to join me. Over the following 6 months, I’ll be sharing and reflecting on some of the stand-out life experiences that have culminated over time to bring to me this place.
I’m pretty sure I have something to say. It’s time to raise my voice.
Before becoming a business coach, Jenn established and led a thriving marketing agency – a time filled with challenges, yet great fulfillment. By personally experiencing the highs and lows of business ownership while balancing a family, I gained invaluable insight into overcoming difficulties and achieving goals.
After 13 years, she realized she was ready to expand as an individual and business owner and wanted to assist other female entrepreneurs to do the same. Leaving an established business and embarking on a new path took every ounce of bravery she had, and became one of her greatest accomplishments.