Canadian Small Business Women

Connection, Synergy, Community

Listen to Hear not to Respond

 

Sheralyn

When I speak to groups of small business owners and entrepreneurs on the topic of communication, my message is consistent. Of the three elements needed for effective communication to take place; listening, writing and speaking, the most important of these is listening. Why? Because it is in the listening that we ensure there is understanding.

Listening isn’t just about opening our ears either.  It’s about being open and receptive, in principle, to new ideas, suggestions and considerations. Listening is ACTIVE. We must lean in, participate, nod our heads to encourage continued conversation and we need to ask questions to ensure clarity. Most of all however, we need to listen to HEAR not to RESPOND. What do we mean by this?

Listening to hear is about patience. It concerns the principle that we must be actively engaged in the conversation from the perspective of gaining understanding, not listening for the sole purpose of formulating our own arguments in response to what is being said. Listening to hear is about waiting for the “whole.” Waiting for the speaker to complete his / her thoughts, pausing to think about those words and then responding. Too often we are each of us poised and ready to pounce in response to something we heard at the beginning of a sentence, to the exclusion of all that came after it. That’s not listening, that’s debating. It’s a “point – counterpoint” approach to speaking that suggests a “Who will win this conversation” point of view.

Listening to respond is also about remaining IN the moment. Connected to the speaker and not connected to any of our many devices. Few of us can actually multi-task effectively and most of us are much better off to focus on one task at a time. Active listening means put your phone down. It’s time to be connected, to each other rather than our devices. Finally, from a customer service point of view it’s about listening to what your customer is actually asking for, rather than telling them what you think they need.

Active listening and listening to hear, not to respond, help bridge the gap between you and your intended audience. It is the key to effective communication. Let’s all put our devices down for just a few minutes and practice #beinthemoment. Make it your personal mission, starting today, to actively listen – whether to your kids, co-workers, spouse or customer. Drop the constant need to hashtag your conversations or to answer back in defensive mode.  Instead #GiveActiveListeningATry. (Oh the irony…..we just couldn’t resist!)

As Owner and Principal partner of “Writing Right For You” Sheralyn is a Communications Strategist – working together with entrepreneurs to maximize profit through effective use of the written word. Looking for web content that works, blog articles that engage or communications strategies that help you get noticed?  Contact Sheralyn today. Sheralyn is also the mother of two children now entering the “terrible and terrific teens” and spends her free time volunteering for several non-profit organizations.

Sheralyn Roman B.A., B.Ed.

Writing Right For You

Communications Strategies that help you GET TO THE POINT!

416-420-9415 Cell/Business

writingrightforyou@gmail.com

The Biggest Mistake Made When Networking!

 yvonne

A few months ago I attended a networking event where someone walked up to me, and the first thing they did was give me a business card, spoke barely a few words and walked away, and I noticed they did the same with others, distributing their business card. I was at another networking and business event, where someone brings out a BIG bundle of business cards to give me one, and this left me speechless, but with a strong desire to revisit the art of networking.

Considering the amount of information out there on effective networking, one could be forgiven for assuming the art of networking would be common knowledge. The biggest mistake that unfortunately is still happening is when people see networking as an opportunity to ‘sell’, ‘promote’ or ‘get’ as much possible to their benefit.

Networking can be described as the process of interacting or engaging in communication with others for mutual assistance or support. Note the word ‘mutual’? When networking is done properly, its benefits can be endless, and includes making business contacts, establishing new friendships or relationships, or seeking advice and information.

Networking is not a race to distribute as many business cards or get as many cards as possible. Yes networking is effective for building your professional career or business, and I can testify to having great results from networking, but this happened when I was being present in the moment, being authentic, and interested in the other person.

From my own experience, trainings attended and reading done, one key point that cannot be overemphasised is that ‘Networking is about building Relationships’. Only in getting to know someone and vice versa can a need be met effectively. We need to change our mindset from focusing on not just what we can get, but to also what we can give. The law of nature and reciprocity has proven that in giving we are bound to receive.

 How to Network Effectively

  1. Prepare beforehand by having a positive attitude and think of what you would like to achieve from attending i.e. meet two new people today. However, keep an open mind at the event, which could open you to receiving more than you expected.
  2. Have your elevator pitch/speech ready on how to introduce yourself effectively; short, to the point and effective.
  3. If you feel lost, nervous or struggle to join a group that is already in conversation, find someone on their own and introduce yourself.
  4. Develop the art of small talk; start a topic in relation to the event you are presently at, a related current affairs topic or admire something about the person you want to start the conversation with. Some simple conversation starters include ‘great event…’, ‘Is this your first time here…’
  5. Listen and focus your attention on who you are talking with, imagine how you would feel if you were talking with someone and they are constantly looking around or at their cell phone.
  6. Use open-ended questions that will help keep the conversation flowing, as opposed to closed-ended questions that solicit a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.
  7. When you receive a business card. Write a note on it to help jog your memory for the next time you look at the card.
  8. Make sure you follow up after events; it could be call to say hello or how well you enjoyed meeting them. This helps to create a connection that you can work towards building.
  9. Networking does not start and end with formal events, you can also network effectively at social events and online on social media.

We are constantly faced with opportunities to network in the many facets of our lives, and what you do with your opportunity has the capability to positively and significantly impact your life or not.

Share some of your networking stories or tips with us below. What do you think of Networking?

To learn about Yvonne’s latest book on Changing your Mindset for greater results, visit http://www.oliveblue.com/changeyourmindset/

Yvonne is an Author, Speaker, Change Consultant & John Maxwell Leadership Coach who is passionate about working with Individuals, Entrepreneurs and Organisations to help implement change they want and achieve their goals.   

She can be reached at: www.oliveblue.com . www.facebook.com/oliveblueinc . www.twitter.com/oliveblueinc.www.youtube.com/ChangeYouWantTV

Networking Etiquette

Martina New

 

How does it make you feel, when someone you just met launches into a full-on sales pitch? Probably not so dandy. It may make you feel the same way as those sales calls you get after 8pm all right during dinner, and you just want to tell them to go away.

When this happens at a networking event, it’s awkward. Someone just introduced herself to you, or you said hello and asked what she does, and suddenly you’re finding yourself trying to back out of the conversation.  If you’ve attended more than a couple of networking meetings, you know exactly what I’m talking about! 

I admit that at my very first networking event as a fresh business owner, I hadn’t yet figured out the best way of going about things. Somewhere I had heard or read that it was a good opportunity to get and give as many business cards as possible, and many business owners support that view. Because you never know whom you`ll meet, or whom they know.

Being competitive as I am, yet also feeling a little nervous in a downtown pub stuffed to the hilt with small business owners, I “worked the room” as much as I was comfortable. In between greetings, I excitedly felt the growing number of cards in my pocket and felt somewhat proud over how many I had at the end of the night.

Yet therein lies a problem. As Christel Wintels, franchise owner of the BNI Golden Horseshoe groups, shared at a recent big networking bash, some informal ‘research’ had shown that of all the people who attend any given networking event, only around 5 per cent are there to buy something, yet a good 90 per cent or more are there to sell! So Christel’s commandment is: Thou shalt not sell!

Just like any other set of manners, networking etiquette has its pitfalls. Understandably, we’re excited about our business or idea and want to tell as many people as possible. And isn’t it all about exchanging business cards with lots of new people? 

It is in a way, but of course certain guidelines should apply so that you are remembered in a positive way. For example:

  • Prepare your introduction. Have a well-rehearsed pitch or ‘infomercial’ of 60 seconds or less. It should tell the listener about your key services and main benefits to them. Make it engaging, use some intrigue.
  • Listen! Cany people “don’t listen with the intent to understand, merely with the intent to respond.” Make the conversation about the other person, and hope they’ll do the same.
  • Ask new people for introductions to other specific businesses, and also ask them whom they would like to meet. You will be a superstar if you can introduce them to somebody else you met at that event!
  • Wait for a break in conversation or an obvious end before jumping into a still ongoing dialogue between two or more persons.
  • Avoid introducing yourself to someone just as they’re putting food in their mouth. I always find this one particularly challenging to handle when on the receiving end! I struggle for a suitable and polite response when asked “So what do you do?” while I’m currently balancing hors d’oeuvres on a napkin, and trying to keep crumbly filo pastry off my face and clothes. Needless to say I also don’t want to talk with my mouth full. Maybe say hello to someone else first and come back later.
  • Be humble and accept the fact that not everyone will be interested in your business. Start a dialogue and then wait to hear if that person would like your business card or not. If they don’t prompt you, maybe they’re really not interested or in need of your service.

In any case, enjoy the event! Every networking event is a good opportunity to improve on and perfect your sales conversation, get a feel for which aspects of your conversation and benefits spark the greatest interest, and you never know whom you might meet and whom they know!

Just remember to leave the kind of impression you actually want to be remembered for.

 

Martina Rowley is the founder and operator of Beach Business Hub – THE co-working space east of the Don Valley. She combined her passion and experience in the environmental sector with her community engagement side to create a local work environment where space and resources are shared. She fosters and facilitates collaboration, networking, and learning for and with small business owners and new start-ups. Contact her at:http://www.beachbusinesshub.ca, on Facebook and on Twitter

Enhancing Communication

anna

Throughout our business and personal lives we meet wonderful and unique characters and those memories remain with us.  We encounter individuals that have a personality that we may define as odd or quirky and yet we are drawn to them because of the individuality.  They add to our own enlightenment and growth in being able to communicate.

We also encounter some very quiet and simplistic characters and with these lovely individuals we admire the uniformity and calmness in their methods of communicating their thoughts and feelings. Once again they teach us new methods to communicate as well.

There are all types in between from quirky to simple and how lucky we are to be able to meet them all.  Each individual is an inspiration of communication.  Even those that do not communicate well are an inspiration on what we want to avoid and maybe what we can teach.  I get excited when I meet someone new.  I tune my ears and open myself up to the wonders of meeting a new friend or colleague along with honing my skills on how to be an effective communicator.

The most important part of communicating is LISTENING!

In this quick paced and ever-moving world we hurry through everything; including our conversations.  As a matter of fact, I can sense that the next words coming from someone are before I have even finished my thought.  Did they hear me and my ideas all the way through?  Have I answered their concerns and they weren’t even paying attention?

There are some tips when trying to effectively communicate:

  1.  LISTEN! You need to know the question before answering.  You can take a lot of information away from the conversation that will help you in future if you stop and really listen!!!
  2. Two way speaking is very important.  Focus on the person you are speaking with and train your mind to STOP trying to find the immediate answer. Take a breath before replying and if you don’t have the answer or want to take the time to think over your thoughts tell them so. The answer, “I believe I really would like to think this through”, is much more thoughtful than a half hearted, “Sure”.
  3. Know that there are different communication styles and you need to know how you communicate and what others need to hear and feel to understand you.  I am happy to help with different communications styles as I love to explore this avenue and enlighten others.

Speak with integrity. Your enthusiasm and honesty shows through to your words and sincerity is the key.  Be yourself and explore!

Anna Ottaviani is a Board Certified NLP Master Practitioner & Master Coach, Board Certified Master Hypnotherapist,Creating Your Future® , Time Line® Therapist Practitioner and Reiki Master. Her methods are unique and tailored to each individual client. She can be reached at www.sucessfullyyou.ca or by phone at 289-221-5772. You can follow her onFacebook 

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