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3 Reasons We Have to Learn to Say No

sandra

I’ll admit that there was a time when saying no was a problem for me. As a chronic people pleaser, I was always saying yes to things I should have been saying no to. It led to overwhelm, frustration and often times, resentment. This is why I feel pretty confident in sharing these three reasons why we have to learn to say no.

  1. You risk becoming a bitter b-tch

When we don’t have boundaries, there are always going to be people who take advantage of the situation. If you don’t want to feel like you’re constantly being treated like a doormat, you’re going to have to put on your big girl panties and start saying no. Sure it will feel uncomfortable at first, but if you don’t learn how to say no soon, you’re going to end up bitter and resentful. When it gets to this point you run the risk of saying no to things you should actually be saying yes to.

  1. There’s always someone else who will say yes

Many times we choose to say yes because we worry that if we don’t the person asking will be left stranded. Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re playing the martyr in a situation like this. We feel like we have to sacrifice our time and do what’s asked of us because if we don’t the world will come to a complete standstill. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but as wonderfully special as you are, you cannot possibly be the only go-to person for every favour request. Believe me when I say that even if you say no, it will get done – eventually 🙂

  1. You’ve got your own empire to build!

I’m sure you have your own list of things to accomplish, goals you want to achieve, dreams you want to make a reality. If you spend all your time taking care of everyone else’s needs, when do you find the time to get the things that are important to you done? You’ve got to find a way to balance it all. If you haven’t reviewed your priorities lately, then there’s no time like the present! If we don’t identify what’s important to us, then we don’t know where we should be focusing our time and energy. When we lack focus, it’s so much easier to get pulled in many different directions, none of them serving our needs in any way.

It’s okay to say no sometimes. Know that NO can actually be a full and complete sentence. You don’t have to give an explanation or justify it. If you feel you need to, go ahead. I’ll give you this warning though – no matter what the explanation is; there will be those that don’t want to hear it. Especially those who are used to you saying yes all the time. Some will even consider this change in behaviour a bit selfish. The good news is that most will respect you for it in the long run and your relationships will benefit as well. Like TD Jakes says, “greatness is contagious”. You might as well focus on your greatness so that you can lift those around you to the same level. If you don’t have the time to focus on you, how will you ever become the rising tide that lifts all boats?

Sandra Dawes is a certified life coach specializing in helping women who feel unfulfilled with their 9-5 follow their dreams and pursue their passions. She holds an Honours BA, an MBA as well as a certificate in Dispute Resolution. She has completed her first book,Embrace Your Destiny: 12 Steps to Living the Life You Deserve!

Connect:

www.embraceyourdestiny.ca

www.facebook.com/embraceyourdestiny

www.facebook.com/embraceyourdestinythebook

www.twitter.com/sandradawes

When should you say No?

Praveeni

 

“No” is something we may be used to hearing as entrepreneurs, for every yes there are at least five No’s that come before it, but saying it is something that may be unusual. As you become more established and gain more experience people will start to notice you; both for your work and your value. This attention can be a blessing and a curse as your workload and commitments will increase. But just how much work or involvement is too much? When is it time to start saying No? I’ve always had a difficult time declining business offers and saying no to people in general, until one day I realized I was agreeing just to oblige others with no real benefit to myself or my business. Here are a few rules I’ve come up with for instances when it is alright to decline an offer or say No

  1. There’s no benefit to your business
    As an entrepreneur may people will try to sell you products, services, their time etc. to “help” you. It’s important to take a step back and examine each offer to determine whether or not it actually benefits your business. If there is no direct benefit then simply say No.
  1. It doesn’t make you money
    When you run a business it’s easy to get sidetracked and caught up in pointless meetings – basically meetings that have no profit or networking potential. They’re usually the kind of meeting where someone will email or call to “hear more about your business”. Be weary of these kinds of offers, if you don’t believe you can build a mutually beneficial business relationship then decline.
  1. Beyond your expertise
    Sometimes people ask you for your help or advice. Being an entrepreneur doesn’t make you an expert at everything business related so know the limits of knowledge. If something is beyond your expertise explain that it is beyond your scope and recommend someone else who may be of assistance.
  1. Detrimental to your brand
    Being aware of your brand and the message you want to convey is key when running your own business. Thus you must be conscious about how each business decision affects your brand. If allying yourself with a person, group or company compromises your brand or company image decline the meeting or offer.
  1. You’re spread too thin
    Time is something we never have enough of as entrepreneurs. If you find your commitments are taking away from your personal time with family and friends, it’s time to revaluate and prioritize. With all the volunteer and community involvement opportunities out there it’s hard to decline calls to help out, but remember when something is no longer enjoyable it’s time to quit. Volunteering can range from sitting on a board to even helping out at your local hospital. As a rule of thumb try to engage in two volunteer activities maximum, this way you’ll be able to focus more on them and give it your best.

Praveeni Perera is the CEO and co-founder of Professional Edge Consulting a corporate training company based in Ottawa offering training and coaching services to clients around the world.  She can be reached via Website, Twitter, Facebook or her Blog.

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